a belated hello.

20 Sep

It hit me this morning while I was getting ready for work that I have been so, so limiting to myself lately.
I’ve been overly concerned with how I look, and how our house looks, instead of focusing instead on how I want to be beautiful on the inside, or instead of just being proud of our home because it’s where A and I get to live together for the very first time!

I think maybe this limiting has been affecting my relationship with A too.
I was reading the back of a box of cold medicine this morning and A joked, “checking for calories?”
It hit home because I realize that I do that way, way too much
Food is good. It is good and important to eat real things, not just 100-cal snack bars. I can learn to be healthy and slimmer and still move beyond counting every single calorie.
Because, really, that’s not going to last.
It already hasn’t lasted.

I’m taking the GRE this Saturday, so I’m going to spend the rest of this week working towards that.
And then I’ll shift my attention towards “What Color is Your Parachute” and more career planning journaling.
(I feel a bit sad that my career plans have come to this; does it qualify as a self-help book? On the other hand, is it bad that I’ve waited this long to acquire a self-help book since I feel so lost in terms of pinpointing a career?)

And yes, I’m still going to think about things like healthier work lunches, and I’m going to exercise, and I’m going to pay attention to beautiful things.
But I’m not going to limit myself and my thoughts to that, like I’ve been doing unintentionally lately.
I need to stop drooling over blog entries about how suchandsuch is decorating her house and how suchandsuch is so crafty! (I blame Pinterest).

Because, really, I’m more than that.

I need to be more myself, to be more thoughtful and productive in general, and I think that will help deepen and strengthen my relationship with A, too.

So, in my twenty-third year, I’m going to lay out some goals.

Hello, 23,.
(Forgetting the fact that I turned 23 almost three months ago)
I’m so excited about this point in my life.

23 is going to be full of bright light.
It’s going to be filled with beautiful, deliberate choices.
In fact, it already is.

(Like, A and I moved in together! Can I emphasize enough how much I love this?)

Goals for 23:

  • Start my etsy collection. Just go ahead and do it. It may not be an end, but it could be a fun journey.
  • Make more art. Make an art project every week.
  • Take a class: an art class, or a dance class
  • Write. Set weekly or biweekly deadlines for myself.
  • Go to grad school. Or, be in a job or trade that I’m happy with and satisfied with the pay. That is: figure out a career path, and continue.
  • Loose 20 lbs by Feb. 1
  • Cultivate relationships with other couples.
  • Just: be happy. 🙂 Look for and catalog beautiful things.

This is how this year feels:

(This past week, we were sick together, and he took care of me nonstop! Because he is very awesome and fantastic. Also,  being sick together was cozy and adorable. But enough about that….)

Here we go, 23…..

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