“And the people saw that every sort of beauty, every sort of love was from the gods, and they became free and bold, and they grew wings.”

27 Jun

An open letter to myself:

Dear Hannah,

I know, you feel a little stressed because you never knew it would be like this.

You never knew that your 20s would be so terrifying; that it would feel like you were becoming yourself and being ripped apart, all at once.

You thought there would be more answers by now, but, instead, sometimes you feel lost and adrift.

But, the thing is — at the same time, you have it more together now then you ever thought you would.

An amazing love story crept up on you while you were busy worrying. Falling in love with A was easy; it was like coming home. It is exciting and gentle; it is full of warm, yellow light and it is exploding with color.

While you were worried about being good enough for the world, A came along and loved you for everything you were, at that moment, and everything you will be, in all the moments to come.

You grew up in the middle of a summer thunderstorm. You grew up with love, and happiness, and adoration, but you also grew up with sickness, and anger, and abandonment. You grew up without thinking about finding love. You didn’t know about that side of you, about the side that felt passion and yearning and could explode in bursts of joy.

But, all along, love was waiting for you.

A love with chestnut hair, sparkling eyes, and handsome strong shoulders made perfectly for you to fit inside. He loves you in a way you wouldn’t believe, because he loves all of you, even the shadowy parts that make you feel ashamed, even the awkward teenage parts that make you feel unlovable. He loves you forever, even though sometimes you can’t believe it, because you can’t believe you are deserving of a love so encompassing.

You are incredibly lucky, and your life is going wonderfully. You are exactly where you should be; you are new and beautiful and good.

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